by Peter T. Coleman

Research from 3 different conflict labs in the U.S. have come to the same conclusion: first things matter most. Studies conducted in Losada’s Capture Lab which studies conflict in executive work teams, Gottman’s Love Lab which studies marital conflict, and Coleman & Kugler’s Moral Conflict Lab which studies difficult moral disputes, have shown that what goes on in the first few minutes of a conflictual encounter has the most impact on everything that follows.

For example, Gottman’s research has shown that the attitudes partners enter into conflicts with, as well as the first few moments of their interaction, often set the tone for the remainder of the conflict dynamics. If negativity sets in and the discussion becomes contentious early on, odds are it will stay this way or merely get worse. This is particularly true with negative emotions, as these tend to be five-times as influential as positive in determining conflict dynamics.

This has several implications for mediation. First, setting a strong, professional tone at the outset of a session by getting consensus on clear ground-rules and establishing your credibility as a mediator can build a strong base for respectful discourse. If you quickly get a sense that the disputants are incensed and are likely to come out of the gate kicking and screaming (figuratively or literally), then it may be best to caucus right away to see if it’s possible to de-escalate emotions and start the mediation later on from a more reasonable place. In addition, the earlier you intervene into a potentially destructive, escalating conflict, the better. It is much harder to reverse a process of destructive conflict when the session has gone sour then it is to mitigate one before it goes bad.

Finally, when introducing ADR initiatives into new settings (schools, human resource departments, labor-management grievance procedures, etc.) it is best to seek to integrate them into the initial designs of the undertaking, and not attempt to add them on later, as they then help to shape the emerging culture of the initiative in a way that is conducive to constructive conflict. Bringing these procedures in later on will typically elicit much greater resistance.